Road Trip
by Kamikazee
Summary: Eric Bischoff gets another ingenius idea: pack 4 superstars and 4 diva's up and send them on a cross-country, inter-promotional road trip. This cannot end well.
1. Prologue

Road Trip  
Prologue  
  
Author: Kamikazee  
  
Email: neo_kamikazee@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairings/Characters: Hunter/Lita, Randy/Victoria, Molly/Jericho, Stacy/Shawn Michaels  
  
Warnings:  
  
Category: WWE  
  
Spoilers: Current (October 6, 2003), except: in a 3-way match between Molly, Gail and Lita, Gail turned on Molly and took the championship back.  
  
Summary: One of Eric's 'genius' plans: throw a lottery to randomly choose 4 diva's and 4 superstar's to be a part of a cross-country promotional tour. This leaves 8 volatile and hostile people practically trapped in each other's company; I wonder what's going to happen?  
  
Archive: H-L-A, Personal Space, Fanfiction.net  
  
Author's Notes: An answer to Amy's Road Trip challenge (Sept. 25, 2003). The original challenge will be posted at the end of this part.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters or storylines developed by the WWE, nor is this supposed to represent the preferences of the real people who portray them. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
~  
  
"What's he want us here for?"  
  
"What's going on in that twisted little mind?"  
  
"Why do we have to be here again?"  
  
"Can we get this started? I have better things to do!"  
  
The loud, obnoxious voice of Chris Jericho cut through the conference room, silencing all the conversations that had been going on previously. It was an odd sight, the entire roster of Raw, condensed into one room. Now, if only the person who had arranged it all was here to explain.  
  
"Steve, do you have any idea what's going on?" The southern twang in Shawn Michaels voice was pronounced more than usual. A result of being in close proximity with so many people he didn't like was the popular reasoning for it.  
  
The bald-headed co-general manager of Raw was present as well, and looking just as an annoyed as the rest of those in attendance. He looked up from his beer to reply to the entire crowd of disgruntled superstars.  
  
"Listen, I want to leave as much as the rest of you," the disgruntled groan of Christian was silenced with a glare, "But, that sumbitch Bischoff wants us all here for some special announcement, so."  
  
"Come on, Steve!"  
  
"This is so annoying!"  
  
"As if! He's probably not even going to show up."  
  
The aggravated yelling was cut short as the man of the hour entered the room, looking as though he owned it. Eric Bischoff didn't seem to mind at all that he was currently the recipient of many a glare. The co-gm walked confidently to the front of the room before he even turned to address the crowd of his employees.  
  
"I guess you're all wondering why I called you here today?" the tone was jaunty and matched the smirk on the face of the man as he regarded the mass of people. "I have the pleasure to announce to you all." Eric paused, trying to build some sort of anticipation.  
  
"Get on with it!"  
  
With a pout, the man conceded, "The first ever Raw brand, cross-country, inter-promotional, road trip!" He paused there, preparing to accept the applause, that he would surely receive, gratefully.  
  
"What the hell!"  
  
"Oh. My. God."  
  
"If that isn't the stupidest thing I've ever heard."  
  
As the comments continued, Bischoff's face grew redder and redder. Finally, the man had had enough. "Shut up! All of you! I don't want to hear it! This will happen because I say it will happen. Those of you that I choose will participate with a goddamn smile on your face! Does everyone understand?"  
  
There were mumbles that followed, but the room had quieted down considerably. Eric's smile returned and he once again looked around the room. "Any questions?"  
  
"Who're the unlucky bastards that have to do it?" Hunter's voice cut across the room, cool with a small amount of amusement.  
  
A wicked smile spread slowly across the co-general manager's face. "I'm glad you asked that Hunter. Because, you see, we're going to choose the participants in a very special way. Tonight, live on Raw, there will be a lottery. All the superstars names will be inside this lottery."  
  
"No. No fucking way."  
  
"Yes. I will choose 8 people from this lottery. That's right, only 8. I know you're all hoping you'll be chosen and are just dying with anticipation. See you tonight."  
  
With that, Eric Bischoff extracted himself from the crowd and sauntered through the door. The conference room was left filled with many aggravated wrestlers. Tonight was not going to be a good night for 8 people.  
  
~  
  
". so, every superstar's name is entered here," Eric gestured towards the large bingo-style mixer, "and I will choose 8 superstars who will be given the privilege to experience this wonderful opportunity."  
  
Sending a smirk towards the crowd around him, Bischoff gestured for Jonathon Coachman to start spinning the ball. As the flurry of small papers mixed themselves up, the wrestlers in the back held their breath.  
  
"And the first winner is." Eric voice was sickeningly cheerful, "Randy Orton! Congratulations, son!" As Coach once again spun the wheel, Eric pulled out the second name, "Stacy Kiebler!"  
  
The first two names had been called, but the uncalled superstars in the back still watched carefully. "Our third superstar is. Shawn Michaels!" The crowd was torn between cheering for one of their heroes or not because of Bischoff. "Fourth is Lita! Can't say I'm sorry to see her go." The last part was muttered under his breath and met with loud boos from the crowd.  
  
"Let's see, who's the next lucky superstar." Bischoff reached in to pull out a name, "Chris Jericho!" He paused a second to gouge the crowd reaction before once again drawing a name, "Lucky number six is. Victoria!" "Now we're down to the last two," Bischoff said, "Let's see who it's going to be. Molly Holly! Our former women's champion is number 7."  
  
The wheel began spinning quickly as Eric approached his hand. "And the blessed number 8 is going to be.. Yes! It's going to be our former World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H!"  
  
As the last name was called, the wheel was moved from the ring and Bischoff brought the microphone, once again, to his lips. "Well, that's all. I'm sure all of you who didn't make it are very disappointed but try not to be too jealous of those who did. The lucky 8 that made it, you know who to thank: me, Eric Bischoff."  
  
As Eric stepped from the ring, "I'm back!" played triumphantly for him. He walked with the sway of a man who believed he had done a job well done.  
  
~  
  
*Evolution dressing room*  
  
"I cannot believe this."  
  
"Believe it, Bischoff is throwing his power around."  
  
"This never would have happened if you were still the champ. We wouldn't."  
  
"Well, Orton, I'm not the champ anymore am I." The tone in Triple H's voice was dangerous and Randy Orton immediately attempted to apologize.  
  
"Hunt," he began, trying to smile placidly at the larger man, "You know I didn't mean it that way, I'm just pissed off at having to do this."  
  
"Don't worry, you're not going to have to do this."  
  
"What do you have in mind, Natch," Hunter voice was gravely.  
  
"I'll talk to Bischoff, don't worry." Ric Flair seemed confident that he could talk their way out of this situation.  
  
~  
  
*Jericho and Christian's dressing room*  
  
*CRASH*  
  
"Goddamnit, dude," Christian cried out to his fellow blonde Canadian, "Stop throwing shit! It's not that bad!"  
  
The older blonde turned towards his friend, "Not that bad?! Not that bad!? I have to go on some stupid ass road trip with a load of people I hate! And you say it's not that bad?"  
  
~  
  
*HBK and Maven's dressing room*  
  
*THUNK*  
  
Shawn Michaels brought his head down against the lockers, creating a loud thunking noise. He paused for a second before lifting his head once again and dropping it.  
  
"Shawn, would you stop that," Maven's voice was worried with a tinge of exasperation added for good measure.  
  
A hollow laugh came from the mouth of the heartbreak kid. "I'm stuck on a road trip with Jericho, Orton and Helmsley, Maven; I'm hoping I can give myself a concussion.  
  
"Well, it can't be any worse than what's been happening to you in the last couple weeks. right?"  
  
~  
  
*Test and Steiner's dressing room*  
  
"I can't believe this!"  
  
"Who does Bischoff think he is? You belong to me!"  
  
Test and Scott Steiner were railing at the injustice they believed to have just occurred. Stacy had been chosen for this cross-country, inter- promotional tour, without them. As the two continued to vent their anger, the woman herself sat calmly on the bench.  
  
Stacy Kiebler had a smile on her face.  
  
~  
  
*Women's dressing room*  
  
"He can't do this to me! I'm Molly Holly! This isn't fair!" The former women's champion was screaming at the television screen in front of her, even though Eric Bischoff was long gone; the ring now occupied by Rico and Val Venis.  
  
Beside her, the tall redhead was muttering in discontentment, "I can't fucking believe it. I just got back, and now I have to go on some stupid tour?"  
  
"You know, this wouldn't have happened if one of you were women's champion," the cocky voice of the young Gail Kim rang across the locker room. She realised her mistake quickly as two pairs of angry eyes turned in her direction.  
  
~  
  
*Stevie's dressing room*  
  
"No, he can't do this to me, he can't take you away from me," Victoria was loudly muttering as she clung tightly to her boyfriend. Steven Richards had a lost and slightly crazy look in his eyes.  
  
"Don't worry, Flower," he muttered into her red-streaked hair, "Stevie will make everything better."  
  
End chapter 1  
  
Original Challenge:  
  
Road Trip Challenge:  
  
Choose Between 6-8 superstars/divas  
  
Must include: Stacy, Molly, Jericho and Shawn Michales (though they don't  
  
need to be paired off together)  
  
Other Participants:  
  
Guys Choose from: Hunter, Kurt, Christian, Randy, Rocky, Edge, Steven  
  
Richards, Shane McMahon  
  
Divas: Nidia, Victoria, Dawn Marie, Lita (please do not pair her with Jericho  
  
or Shawn)  
  
The Divas/Superstars chosen do not necessarily need to be paired up if you  
  
don't want them to be  
  
Trap them all together in an RV on a cross country promotional tour/scheme  
  
thought up by Vince. Exactly what they're doing or where they stop is up to  
  
you.  
  
The Divas must make the guys watched the Powerpuff Girls or Sailormoon  
  
(original Japanese version) at least once on the trip. Wackiness and Chaos  
  
must  
  
ensue.  
  
~Amy 


	2. Chapter 1

Road Trip  
Chapter 1  
  
Author: Kamikazee  
  
Email: neo_kamikazee@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Pairings/Characters: Hunter/Lita, Randy/Victoria, Molly/Jericho, Stacy/Shawn Michaels  
  
Warnings: none  
  
Category: WWE  
  
Spoilers: October 6, 2003, except: in a 3-way match between Molly, Gail and Lita, Gail turned on Molly and took the championship back.  
  
Summary: One of Eric's 'genius' plans: throw a lottery to randomly choose 4 diva's and 4 superstar's to be a part of a cross-country promotional tour. This leaves 8 volatile and hostile people practically trapped in each other's company; I wonder what's going to happen?  
  
Archive: H-L-A, Personal Space, Fanfiction.net  
  
Author's Notes: An answer to Amy's Road Trip challenge (Sept. 25, 2003). The original challenge is posted at the end of the prologue  
  
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters or storylines developed by the WWE, nor is this supposed to represent the preferences of the real people who portray them. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
~  
  
"Jesus Christ, that's one huge fucking RV." Randy Orton's voice was surprised, as well as disgusted, at the sight of the giant RV parked before them in the hotel parking lot. The rest of the unlucky travellers were in an equal state of mind.  
  
Shawn Michaels sent a glare at Orton for his remark. He, personally, had been trying to cut down on his language, though he did slip once in a while, but using the Lord's name in vain.  
  
"We're supposed to ride in that?" Chris Jericho's tone of voice easily implied that he found that fact incredibly insulting. The man was dressed noticeably in black hip-hugging leather pants and a shiny purple shirt, half-buttoned to reveal some of his chest.  
  
In their defence, the RV was somewhat out there. Bischoff had told them ahead of time that it had two beds, two pull out couches, a kitchen, a bathroom and a living room, but it hadn't quite sunk in how much room that would take until the point they laid eyes on the behemoth.  
  
It's chrome white sides were shiny, as only brand new vehicles sides could be. It even had a second story. The thing was massive. Of course, that didn't mean it still wouldn't be cramped, there were eight of them, after all.  
  
However, there were more than just the eight waiting outside. In fact, most of the roster had come to see the travellers off. Or, in the case of most, laugh at the unfortunate individuals. The 'chosen' began to prepare their luggage, and say good-bye to their friends and allies.  
  
The time for complaints, and their had been many, had passed. Bischoff had been unwavering, strong against even the most persistent of them. Now, it was simply time to accept their fate and hope that they could last through this.  
  
~  
  
"I can't believe you couldn't get me out of this." Hunter was growling in barely controlled rage. The past week had been very stressful for the former World Champion. If you looked close enough, you might even get to see his left eye twitch.  
  
Ric Flair was looking quite rundown himself, and with good excuse. He had spent 7 days attempting everything possible to get Triple H, and possibly Randy Orton, out of this situation. Every shot he gave it, he was pushed down. There was no talking to Eric Bischoff when his mind had decided on yet another sick plan.  
  
Randy Orton was looking much more laid back then the other two men. The dark-haired young man had quickly adapted to the situation, deciding to roll with the punches. He had spent the week amusedly watching as his teammates descended into stress. "Man, it's not that bad," he told HHH, "We get a paid vacation for a month. Plus, close quarters with some hot chicks."  
  
The two other members of Evolution glared at their youngest member. Randy Orton shot them a smile, before slipping his sunglasses on and lugging his bags towards the RV.  
  
~  
  
"I don't trust you."  
  
The harsh words Test shot towards Stacy Kiebler barely fazed the young woman, she was used to the tall Canadian putting her down. She simply rolled her eyes at the defensive stances that he and Scott Steiner had taken.  
  
"Any funny business." Scott Steiner attempted to warn the young blonde, looking at her carefully, and saying the words slowly. It was as though he thought he needed to speak slowly so that she can understand. What a laugh, he was the moron, not her.  
  
"Of course not!" she told the two men cheerfully. Stacy Kiebler was more than happy, she was ecstatic. Despite all these two men's complaints, she was going on this trip. A whole month away from the hell that had become her life.  
  
She was damned well going to have fun.  
  
~  
  
Chris Jericho stalked towards the RV, carrying his two bags easily in his arms. His face was locked in a scowl, which deepened as his blue eyes took in what he would be living in for the next month. It was disgusting, and completely unfair.  
  
Why should someone of his stature and good looks be forced into doing something like this? He wasn't like the rest of these assclowns! He deserved more. But, no, he had to come on this trip and try to play nice with the little people.  
  
Chris Jericho knew the truth, though. This was all an elaborate scam by Bischoff. He was trying to keep him away from wrestling, keep him away from the World Title that was rightfully his. Bischoff was jealous of him. Why shouldn't he be? He was the Highlight of the Night, the King of the World. He expected people to be jealous of him, and he accepted people to try to keep him down.  
  
He would show them, though. He would show them all.  
  
~  
  
"Listen, Shawn, just try to be careful," Maven tried, once more, to advise his mentor against causing trouble. The young man seemed extremely afraid that HBK would pick a fight the moment the RV rolled away. The pathetic thing was he probably wasn't that far off.  
  
"Careful how?" the mocking tone in Shawn Michaels' voice betrayed the fact that he knew exactly what his young protégé was talking about. He was known to take matters into his own hands in rather violent ways. He, however, also knew it was futile to try and stop himself, eventually it would happen, and people would be provoked. That's just how things ended up working around HBK.  
  
Now, the only question was, when was this going to happen?  
  
~  
  
Lita was sulking. That was really the only way to describe what she was doing. The redhead was leaning moodily against a near by tree and observing those saying good-bye around her. Staring unblinkingly at her was none other than Trish Stratus. This had been going on for close to five minutes. Trish was the first one to crack.  
  
"I'm sure it won't be that bad!" the blonde said, carefully. The redhead just turned her head and stared back unbelievably, "Really! I mean, Shawn's a nice guy! Stacy's not bad, either." Trish was forced to stop after that, quickly running out of other decent people on the trip.  
  
The taller of the two let out a short bark of cynical laughter. Lita then returned to her brooding, passing on the opportunity to talk to her friend.  
  
"Plus, you know," Trish continued, desperately trying to find positive points of the trip, "a month's worth of paid vacation! That's pretty cool!" She was grasping at straws now, beginning to panic at the redhead's stoicism.  
  
This did inspire a reaction in Lita, though not one that Trish would have wanted. The redhead's hazel eyes took on an angry look and her lips pressed together in a thin line. "Trish," she said carefully, trying to control the anger that was running through her, "I just got back from over a year's worth of not wrestling, this is not what I want."  
  
Before Trish could answer, the tall redhead quickly hefted her bags up and stalked towards the parked RV.  
  
~  
  
Victoria was once again clinging to Steven Richards. In fact, during the past week, she had done little but cling to Steven Richards whenever he was around her. It had been a challenging seven days for the two resident quacks of the WWE. The diva's eyes were darting around her quickly, watching in case someone tried to separate her from Stevie.  
  
Steven Richards was petting the red-streaked, black hair. He was muttering what we must assume was comforting words to his distraught girlfriend. The self-proclaimed GM of 'Stevie Night Heat' had tried with all his might to get Victoria out of this situation, with no results.  
  
The man had followed Eric Bischoff around for the week. Popping up when the man least expected it and giving him cryptic messages, and deranged riddles. It had lasted five days before Bischoff had had enough and blew up at the young man. Threats had been made and Steven Richards had quickly backed off.  
  
Now it was time for him to let his Flower go. He held tightly to her as long as possible before lightly letting her go and staring after the raven haired Diva. Steven Richards looked like a lost puppy without his Victoria.  
  
~  
  
Molly Holly didn't have anyone saying good-bye to her and giving advice on how to last the month. The talented young woman was left by herself in contemplation.  
  
The youngest Holly cousin was somewhat torn on her feelings about the proceeding road trip. One part of her detested the idea, but the other part was somewhat excited.  
  
The part that hated the idea could only bemoan the loss of a chance to regain her women's title. She was being forced out of the ring and out of competition for an entire month. Not to mention, the people she was being forced to interact with were not her first choice for company.  
  
Then, there was the more confusing side of Molly Holly that wanted to go on the trip. That part was happy at the chance to get away for a while. She hadn't had a vacation in the longest time. That was easy enough to explain, though. It was the part that wanted to see the country, have fun and smile more that kind of creeped her out.  
  
It had been a long time since Molly Holly had been like that. She didn't want to be like that anymore. She wasn't that girl anymore. Right?  
  
Shaking her mind free of confusing thoughts, the brown haired women grabbed her bags and headed towards the RV.  
  
~  
  
They were on their way.  
  
The eight superstars had finally exited the city in which they had started in, parking on the side of the road to discuss what would happen next.  
  
Of course, getting to that point itself had taken awhile. The fight that had started over who would drive had been mild, for the WWE. Of course, all that meant was that their had been no violence. When it was finally decided that Shawn would drive, they had made their first move.  
  
Now, it was time to figure out what their second move would be. Somewhat difficult, if the contemplative look on the faces of all those involved was any indication.  
  
"So, what do we do now?" Stacy Kiebler finally worked up the nerve to ask the question that was plaguing everyone's mind.  
  
After a second, Randy Orton developed a glint in his eye. This itself revealed that what he was about to say wasn't going to be that much fun for anyone else but me. Needless, to say, we weren't disappointed by the words the young man spoke.  
  
"Why don't we decide the sleeping arrangements," he let out, voice suave and smirk firmly set in place. He sent a leer towards all four of the divas in the RV.  
  
A collective sigh was let out.  
  
Wasn't this going to be fun?  
  
End chapter 1 


End file.
